


Venty WIP

by yourecool



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gambling, Gen, Self destructive behaviors, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21876832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourecool/pseuds/yourecool
Summary: Just getting some things out. Mostly posting this as is cause drafts get deleted after a bit and I don’t know when I’ll get back to it.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)





	Venty WIP

**Author's Note:**

> National suicide prevention hotline for the US: 1-800-273-8255

Attempt 1-

‘This is definitely a scam.’ She thought, hovering her mouse over the link. ‘They’ll take my info and hack my accounts and steal all my money, and my life will be ruined. ...But,’ She figured, ‘I’m going to kill myself anyways, so I might as well, right?’  
’And maybe,’ she thought, ‘if this isn’t a scam—however unlikely that is—and they actually do wire me a thousand dollars for free... then it’ll be a reason to live a little while longer. Just to make the most of the money.’

Which was never gonna happen, she knew, but she had nothing to lose.

___

It was a scam.

She tried logging on to her email only to find that someone had changed her password and she was blocked from entering, and then the bank called to inform her of suspicious activity in her account.   
  
She nodded to herself, asked them to lock her accounts and cancel her cards, and then fetched a knife from the kitchen and sat with it in the living room, placing it on the table in front of her.

The apartment was empty of sound. Even the usual constant dripping from the leaky faucet was gone.

She looked at the knife for a bit, and her mind was quiet, still. She was as calm as stagnant water.

She pictured in her head, what it would be like. Two slits to her wrists, and some sleeping pills to keep her under. It would be slow, but painless. She turned the knife in her hands, and watched her reflection dance across its surface.

  
Then, without really knowing why, she got back up, put the knife away, and decided to call the bank and figure out how to restore her accounts.

She didn’t kill herself that day.

Attempt 2- climbs to the roof of her apartment and sits on the edge.

Attempt 3-

Attempt 4- [on Christmas, she leaves the house and sits in the park, hoping for someone to approach her and give her a holidays greeting or ask if she’s ok or any small act of holiday kindness. Plans to stay out there and freeze if no one does.]

  
It was utterly silent in the park. The sun was starting to set in the distance. She watched it for a bit.

No one is going to come. She realized, finally. No one is coming.   
She gasped suddenly, releasing the breath she had been unconsciously holding. She became aware of the burning in her too-tight chest, and breathed deep, desperate gulps of air.   
Her eyes stung, and her vision swam, and she couldn’t control the way her face twisted.

She thought of the knife at home.

Fear spread through her like a glacier, colder than the snow around her, and an empty, heavy hopelessness fell over her like a blanket.

She felt hollow. She wanted, so, so badly. Longing burned searingly, painfully hot in her chest. It hurt far more than a knife ever could. Conflicting emotions swirled inside her, so strong they sent shudders through her body and gave her a stomach ache, and her chest was burning, and her face was burning, and she was trembling and she couldn’t stop, she couldn’t stop shaking, she couldn’t breathe—

Alone in the empty park, she started to cry.

___  
  


She didn’t stay there to freeze. She didn’t go home and get the knife. She walked over to a nearby diner, decorated with festive lights and a painted reindeer on the window, and took a seat in a booth near the heater, where it was warmest. When the waitress came she ordered something random without paying much attention, but as the waitress started to leave she was hit with a sudden claustrophobia that made her frantic. She blurted out in a panic, “Wait!! Don’t go yet!!”

The waitress stopped, and turned around.

She froze. For a moment she couldn’t speak, the words caught in her throat. 

Help me, please, she didn’t say. I’m lonely. She didn’t say.

A burst of frustration shot through her, snapping out of the haze that held her in place. She was sick of silence.

She cleared her throat, took a breath, and tried something else.

”When you come back,” she asked the waitress, “...can you sit her with me for a bit?? I-I, I just... I need someone t-to talk to.”   
The waitress blinked, surprised, and studied her for a moment. Then she smiled.

”Of course! I’ll sit with you for as long as you like.”

The frantic fluttering in the girl’s chest settled down, and she finally relaxed a bit. The faint tremor in her hands stilled. “Thank you.” She told the waitress.

“Sorry for the trouble”

___

The waitress returned with the food after a short wait. They sat together in the warm booth near the heater, and talked about whatever came to mind.

They both liked Harry Potter, it turned out, and they had a similar taste in music! Mostly—the waitress actually liked country, for some weird reason.

When the girl finished with her food and asked for the bill, the waitress surprised her by saying, “It’s on the house!!”

”Oh no, you don’t have to...” The girl tried to tell her, but the waitress waved her off, insistent.

“it’s no trouble.”

The waitress smiled warmly. “All I ask is that you come by again sometime. I’ll be here whenever you want to chat.”

The girl nodded, and slowly smiled back.


End file.
